Attitudes: Entitlement

Lately I've been wondering about attitudes.  I’ll be driving down the road thinking about things to write about it and I realized there are so many unsavory attitudes I can only write about one at a time.  I struggled with which attitude bothers me most and I've decided that the attitude of entitlement ties into so many of the other unsavory attitudes I've encountered lately.

The definition of entitlement is having the right to have, do or get something.  The problem with entitlement is that most often; one does NOT have the right to have, do or get something. 

Allow me to provide examples.  My 11 year old daughter and I have season passes to our local water park.  The park is, of course, full of people toddler to adult ages.  At the park you may rent inner tubes rather than use the regular tubes.  This allows you to often bypass a line and hop right into the attraction.  3 summers ago, I rented 2 tubes for myself and my daughter.  We walked up a billion stairs to the slide complex and she desperately wanted to go down FIRST!  So she did!  As soon as the life guard gave me the OK, I followed behind.  Once I exited the curly, fun tube, I looked up to see her standing on the exit stairs with a bewildered, pained look on her face.  I pulled myself out of the water, noticed there was not tube in her hands and asked, “What’s wrong, boo? What happened?”  She proceeded to tell me that a teen-aged girl walked up to her and grabbed her tube, she tried to hang onto it but couldn't and the girl ran away.  So a teen-aged young woman, stole the rental inner tube of an 8 year old girl who was left in tears, while a lifeguard stood right next to her and did nothing.  (And before you ask, the rental tubes are an entirely separate color and marked with RENTAL on them, no mix up.) 

Just last week we rented a cabana with friends; its private, roped off and comes with rental tubes.  The tubes sit next to the cabana until you’re ready to use them.  While all the kids were in the wave pool, my friend and I were chatting in the cabana, unseen to the teenager who hopped through the ropes and grabbed our tubes.  I jumped up, ran out and said, “No. Put it back now.”  My friend was much more tactful, “Those are rental tubes; please return them to the lawn.”  And they did and then ran off.

Last summer, we had 2 gentlemen in their early twenties take advantage of the kindness I showed when I allowed them to place their bags near ours at our chairs poolside.  Long story short, they attempted to “take over” our chairs, lay their wet persons on our items and refuse to move.  They soon learned not to “poke the mama bear” as I verbally convinced them to remove themselves from my area and soon thereafter had them removed from the park after their friend approached me in a drunken mess, calling me every swear word in the book and making my child cry.

I understand that chairs and inner tubes are completely unimportant, but I want to expose this attitude of entitlement. You are not OWED an inner tube.  You are not OWED chairs.  You are not owed anything, from anybody, no matter how much you want it.  We exist by grace alone.  Entitlement is a product of selfishness.  We must begin to teach our children to be selfless.  We must begin to teach them an attitude of serving and loving, to combat this entitlement.  They must understand that earning something is GOOD and taking things that are not yours is BAD.  And for some reason, we are failing so many of them in this teaching.  Is it because we are afraid?  Are we afraid to say no; or like the lifeguard, afraid to get too involved?  When did we stop standing up for what is right?  Why does it feel like handing kindness to others is out of the ordinary or when you do you are putting yourself at risk?  Why have I been asked repeatedly to write blogs about kindness – is it so abnormal to be kind in our world?

These attitudes extend to all walks, all areas of life.  Next time you see a saying like, “Surround yourself with people that fan your flame,” remember that yours is not the only flame.  If you fan other’s flames, you will be surrounded by people reciprocating.  When you are kind, you will receive kindness – not from everyone, the disease of entitlement is still rampant.  But as we lay down our selfish wants, we will become a happier person.  Do not abuse those around you with your attitude of selfish entitlement.  Love those around you, be kind.  If you ask gently, most of us will let you borrow our tubes, or perhaps even bless you with your own.